In 1994, a cassette was found at the house of Kurt Cobain while the country coroner examined his body. Right next to the tape sat a letter. It states, "Solum hoc malum a mortuis ignorat pacem." Translated, it loosely means "Only the dead know peace from this evil." Copies of the tape were given to Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl - immediately, Dave locked himself in a closet and infamously started muttering Latin phrases from antiquity during the recording sessions for "Foo Fighters." Krist, on the other hand, quit the music industry altogether and became a farmer in Wyoming.
Research concerning the cassette gives us a very loose origin: in 1989, a group of computer scientists from Reed College stumbled upon a blank diskette. When booted up, the phrase "Satanic drag queen" would repeat over and over. Inspired by the phrase, the scientists set out in one weekend to make a demo cassette that would best personify the term. They stumbled into a cheap recording studio in downtown Portland, Oregon and never came out. When police investigated, all they found was a note saying, "We have found the portal. The Dark Lord is awakened," and a cassette lying next to it.
The cassette was taken into police custody until it mysteriously disappeared sometime in 1993. Authorities assumed that some rampant cop took it and destroyed the evidence. That is, until "In Utero" by Nirvana came out. The phrases "All in all is all we are" and "I miss the comfort of being sad" altered authorities that the tape was alive - that Seattle-area musician Kurt Cobain had procured it. However, before authorities could get to him, Kurt would harm himself in order to, in his own terms, "find the secrets it possessed."
We here at Proprietary Pty. have stumbled upon the cassette in a vault located in Queensland. It is in our best interest to present to you the last will and testimony of Satanic Drag Queen.
released October 21, 2013
According to the original note found at the 1989 crime scene, the performers on the cassette are:
James H. Wilkinson - tape effects, guitar drone, priest
Stuart U. Gretchen - bass drone, keyboards, organ, slowed down drums, saxophone, the bearer of the text
L. Stevenson - the lamb and the concept
W. P. Roberts - the brewer and the gatekeeper
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